I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
