You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
