i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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