whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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