Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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