how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
