Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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