He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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