I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We talked him into tasing himself.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
