Operation Purity has been aborted
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
