There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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