You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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