just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
