O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize