This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
