Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
