What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
