At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
