You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
