He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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