Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
