she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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