At least make sure they are 18
Why
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
