all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
