so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
