I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
