im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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