You made me cry and you don't even care
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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