You're so nebulous sometimes
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
