Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
