we have officially lost it.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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