overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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