God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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