Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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