New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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