I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
