He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize