Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
