the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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