Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
