i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
