Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
