I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
