What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
