I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
