508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
