i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize