i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Your penis caused this!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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