Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Randomize
