you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
