She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
