Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
