): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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