I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm at about main and main street
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
