dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize