Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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