You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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