How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
