I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
